Thursday, October 20, 2005
"Clarity"
Interesting what people, both real and fictional, would go at lengths for to fulfill their visions, ideals, desires. For me, I guess my only adversary was uncertainty. All it would take was a single question, then the pangs of regret would gnaw upon me like miniature gremlins with blunted teeth. It's so silly to worry about something so simple, isn't it? Yet its like the feeling of tensed anticipation that throws you up into the air then lets you fall into a sea of various emotions. In the end, that sea would drain away like that from a cartoon, leaving you feeling only silly. Even more so since she agreed.
A movie, yes, that was what was agreed upon. As to which, I had thought of one already, yet there would probably something better. And there was, in a way. Perhaps because of an unheard whisper from a lady of luck we decided to settle with the fickle mind of a coin. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride it was, for both of us have yet to see it.
There was still time, however, before the movie. A short walk around, conversing along the way about how life had been fared so far. Then to an anime shop that felt empty, as if the essence and glory had faded away ever since relocation to a further part of the mall. It felt empty...
The movie on the other hand did not. I have to admit though that even if it would not hold well to be compared with The Nightmare Before Christmas, the movie felt indeed refreshing and nostalgic. Yes, nostalgic, of times when cinemas were packed with various people, from lovers, to loners, to families. Of times when the steps themselves would be sat on since there were no seats left. Of times when the theater would be flooded with the emotions of everyone within, ranging from the screams for a horror movie, to the laughter for a lighthearted comedy. Of times that are far long past, and probably on its throes of death, a.
Another walk, this time at Cyberzone. A conversation about college life, as to how she had been made to suffer, yet saved at the last moment by a compassionate professor. Illmaterian perhaps, yet all in good fortune for her. Her story continued well until we reached a cafe. It was there we talked yet again, over a "grande" cup of tea that wafted steam like a volcanic lake, and a "venti" of choco frappe that was chilled with a heart of winter.
A longer conversation... That of our own dreams, visions, desires... Of whether it was futile, or fruitful. Of what may come, of what may just be mere musings. Yet it was then I had found peace. As we sat there talking, I felt at peace. Obviously different from the otherworldly peace I sought, it was peace nonetheless. Yet it was also clarity. Of where I had so many thoughts, so many minds, at that time, there was but one. There was only the her I was talking to, and there was only the me that was talking to her. There was no confusion, no turmoil of the inner self. It was as if that small space of two couches and a coffee table became a small momentary sanctuary...
.
.
There was no tension, no nervousness, no dread... It was all just casual, which would be the best for it to be..
.
.
A meeting at the bookstore, that was what was agreed upon, and where it began. A short conversation of greetings, as such had always been throughout recent times. "Have you been waiting long?" to which would be replied "Oh no, I just got here," which in my case was true after all since I had arrived not more than ten minutes before her..
A movie, yes, that was what was agreed upon. As to which, I had thought of one already, yet there would probably something better. And there was, in a way. Perhaps because of an unheard whisper from a lady of luck we decided to settle with the fickle mind of a coin. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride it was, for both of us have yet to see it.
There was still time, however, before the movie. A short walk around, conversing along the way about how life had been fared so far. Then to an anime shop that felt empty, as if the essence and glory had faded away ever since relocation to a further part of the mall. It felt empty...
The movie on the other hand did not. I have to admit though that even if it would not hold well to be compared with The Nightmare Before Christmas, the movie felt indeed refreshing and nostalgic. Yes, nostalgic, of times when cinemas were packed with various people, from lovers, to loners, to families. Of times when the steps themselves would be sat on since there were no seats left. Of times when the theater would be flooded with the emotions of everyone within, ranging from the screams for a horror movie, to the laughter for a lighthearted comedy. Of times that are far long past, and probably on its throes of death, a.
Another walk, this time at Cyberzone. A conversation about college life, as to how she had been made to suffer, yet saved at the last moment by a compassionate professor. Illmaterian perhaps, yet all in good fortune for her. Her story continued well until we reached a cafe. It was there we talked yet again, over a "grande" cup of tea that wafted steam like a volcanic lake, and a "venti" of choco frappe that was chilled with a heart of winter.
A longer conversation... That of our own dreams, visions, desires... Of whether it was futile, or fruitful. Of what may come, of what may just be mere musings. Yet it was then I had found peace. As we sat there talking, I felt at peace. Obviously different from the otherworldly peace I sought, it was peace nonetheless. Yet it was also clarity. Of where I had so many thoughts, so many minds, at that time, there was but one. There was only the her I was talking to, and there was only the me that was talking to her. There was no confusion, no turmoil of the inner self. It was as if that small space of two couches and a coffee table became a small momentary sanctuary...
.
.
Thus now, after tasting clarity... It is as if there is nothing but a swirling storm of chaos thereafter. That the blunted-teeth gremlins have turned into a murder of crows feeding upon the remnants of the remains of the confusion that was discarded that day. And perhaps someday, that clarity would become a realized reality within an eternity of madness..
Music: Kamelot - Forever
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